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FUNERALS
Most of my work involves funerals. Since I became a celebrant in 2004 I have conducted over 350 funerals, as compared to some 20 weddings and two namings! There are of course good reasons for this not least that Humanist celebrants have only had the legal authority to conduct weddings since 2006.
Nevertheless most celebrants find that the bulk of their work comes from conducting funerals. People seem to like the service that we offer largely because we talk about the deceased, and not about god, and because we emphasize the idea of celebrating a life rather than mourning.
I usually like to meet with the family of the deceased to discuss their requirements and to find out about the deceased. This "interview" normally takes about one hour and I then go away and compose the ceremony. Sometimes it is not possible to meet face-to-face and then I rely on the phone and email.
In virtually every case I will send a draft copy of the ceremony script to the family for their approval. Occasionally a family will write a script for me but I don't recommend this as it will not tie in with my style of speech and it is extremely difficult to "perform" other peoples words!
I welcome contributions from other speakers as this helps personalize the ceremony but I do advise speakers to at least prepare some notes and keep their contribution to around 3 minutes at most. The length of the ceremony is usually 20 minutes but some venues will allow a longer service.
As far as venues are concerned I am happy to conduct a ceremony anywhere that is safe and dignified. Usually this means a graveyard or crematorium but I have conducted ceremonies in village halls, hotels, churches (sympathetic minister allowing) and in the deceased's home.
Most humanist ceremonies include music. We normally have a pause for reflection during the ceremony, sometimes this is silent but usually the family chooses a favourite piece of music. This can range from classical to "hard house" but should not include hymns or psalms, it being a non-religious ceremony!
Poetry is also popular at funerals and I like to conclude proceedings with some appropriate reading. Usually finding out about the deceased will give me some clues as to the choice of poem but I am happy to read out choices, or even compositions, made by the family.
Occasionally families like to conduct funerals themselves but simply don't know where to start. I am generally happy to help in these situations giving advice over the phone or supplying a template. There is also more advice available on planning funerals from the Natural Death Centre and the BHA, see links page.
From time to time I will be asked by a living person to help prepare their funeral. This may be because they are terminally ill or because they simply like to be prepared! In either case I will help make the appropriate preparations giving advice, preparing a draft script or even recording a personal message.
Whatever your situation I would hope to be able to help and to give you an idea of what is involved in the preparation of a funeral I have compiled some information which you are welcome to download below. Just click on the document title below.
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David Pattullo is a registered celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland. Scottish Charity Number: SC026570
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